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Glossary of Characters

Maria is the star of this collection of memoirs. Her motto in life is "love it, or leave it", but really she wants you to love her or at least like her enough to invite her over for dinner now and then. She is in her thirties now, but the majority of this story takes place when she was in her twenties. She loves her family, her friends, her pups, and Jesus.
Diana is Maria's kid sister, who shocked her Christian family when she started shacking up with an older woman. Diana is practically Maria's twin, except for the 2 year age gap and the dark counterparts to Maria's light. (This is not a metaphor--she genuinely has darker hair and skin) She loves her family, her pups, and she has no qualms about being Maria's sidekick in life.
Jenny is Maria's former best friend, who became her lover girlfriend, who dumped her, and who is now back to being her best friend. Jenny is a passionate and loving friend who thrives on creativity and challenges those around her to do the same. She puts up with Maria's silliness (read:mental problems) and she also keeps her from getting too self- righteous.
Jackie is Diana's wife, and best friend to Jenny and Maria. She is a sensitive, beautiful woman that considers herself lucky to have a housewife as lovely and fun as Diana. Diana scored in finding such a sexy mama who also puts up with her crazy nonsense. Maria considers herself lucky to have such an amazing sister-in-law.
Scully is Maria's right-hand gal and has been for awhile. When Jenny and Maria got together, Jenny was stoked to adopt Scully as her own. She is now the product of "divorce" but so far she seems to be coping well with the joint custody. She is a wise, old soul and she also considers herself to be quite the athlete.
Starbuck is Scully's partner in crime, and she was acquired after Maria and Jenny got together. She has been called "The Sweetest" and a "Bug Eyed Lick Monster" because of her propensity to lick for hours on end. God gave her adorable looks to make up for that which is lacking in the brains department.
Mom is the mother of Maria and Diana. She is a conservative, Republican Christian woman from the O.C. Insert joke here. In all seriousness, despite her background, she is actually quite an amazing woman, and she is loved by her daughters. She took awhile to accept her daughters' sexualities, but thankfully they have all made up.
Dad is the father of Maria and Diana. He is a conservative, Republican Christian man from the O.C. You may not be able to tell by his dodgy accent and his inability to speak Spanish, but his family is Mexican. (Thus, Diana and her lovely dark skin) He may be a sensitive, blowdryer wielding man, but please do not mistake him for your everyday gay hairdresser. He's just metrosexual!
Cuddles and Puddles are silly names for two silly dogs that belong to Diana and Jackie. Even though they have a tendency to bark their poodly heads off, and even though they are not Boston Terriers, I still love them.